Sugar Feast Slice

Food consumed:
2@ 20oz mountain dew
Dinner plate of organic corn tortillas w/cheese
Medium bag of smart food popcorn
12oz can coke
1/3 block of cheese
10 saltines
Vegetarian pasty
Rye whiskey ~6oz
Probiotic
Hot tamales
3 super blow pops

Fitness:
Walked ~1mile

Another learning day. 
I woke up dreading the idea of cooking fried eggs & bacon for breakfast despite knowing it would be better for me over all.  So, instead, I got up, made tortilla chips & cheese for breakfast washing it down with mountain dew.  This did not make me feel better.  Instead, it made me want chips & more soda.  Thus, I walked to 7-eleven for provisions. 

All day, my lungs felt raspy from last night's run.  Adding the sugar on top of this did not help.  My heart raced and breathing was shallow.  Then, this afternoon, I found myself with a strong desire to cut open my wrists and let the blood flow in hopes of calming down my spirit.  I did not feel suicidal depressed.  It was simply the need for release of the built up energy from the sugar consumption.  This may be the first time I've actually had this realization of nutrition affecting the desire to self mutilate. 

Outside of this knowledge, I also learned how much more I desire sugar when I'm exhausted.  Today, I felt a driving need for sugar as I could barely keep my eyes open sitting doing nothing right after waking this morning.  My body was tired from yesterday's run while my brain wanted to move.  However, when I did get out of the house, I felt light headed and ready to faint.  Not sure if the flu shot yesterday had an effect or if it's just the run exhaustion.  I guess we will see over time. 

Tomorrow, I start looking at diets to start trying for 30 days.  Once I start, I'm going to need extreme support to keep going strong.  Hopefully, I can find it through blogging my daily meals, weight, & physical experiences over the course of time.  We will wait & see.