Stress Eating

Wow!  Amazing what stress can do to the body and eating habits!  Last week, my husband has had a series of interviews with a company in California.  We think this could lead to a move to California.  Although that is exciting, I have been slowly progressing towards a BSN, and currently sit on the alternate list for the accelerated program at Regis University.  If I get in, I would be done in a year, and hopefully a registered nurse.  This will all change if we move to California. 

Besides the stress of possibly having to redo all the research on nursing schools and maybe take more prerequisites, I started a new job as a CNA last week into this week.  A friend of mine helped me get this job, and I'm worried about making her look bad if I end up having to quit for the move.  Also, I'm nervous about simply making her look bad by not living up to the expectations she has already set for me by telling my boss how awesome I am. 

So, how does this play in to nutrition?  Well, there are many ways.
1.  Stress is easier to manage when one is eating healthier.
2.  When I'm stressed, I don't sleep well; therefore, I'm exhausted, which I in turn compensate for by consuming tons of sugar.  This leads to inflammation within my body that keeps me from exercising.  The lack of exercise causes me to gain weight (not to mention the release of stress hormones adding to the weight gain) and leads me to be depressed.  With depression comes lethargy sometimes, and I continue doing nothing active.  To try & pull myself out of it, I consume sugar and carbohydrates for that rush of happiness only to crash a little while later.    Needless to say, it becomes a vicious cycle. 

So, what am I going to do about it?  I'm looking at various "diets (eating habits)." My husband on his quest to be the best runner has tried a variety of these behaviors.  As he tries them, I too join in the attempts.  Unfortunately, I have never stuck to one.  However, I think for the purpose of this blog, I will attempt each "diet" for about 30days.  A friend recently created a Salad challenge for 30days starting 1 April 2014.  The idea is to have salad for one meal each day.  Until the start of that challenge, I will continue to document my current behaviors and feelings to have a basis of comparison.  Maybe I will eventually truly kick on the mountain dew addiction that has held on to me for so long!

Sugar Feast Slice

Food consumed:
2@ 20oz mountain dew
Dinner plate of organic corn tortillas w/cheese
Medium bag of smart food popcorn
12oz can coke
1/3 block of cheese
10 saltines
Vegetarian pasty
Rye whiskey ~6oz
Probiotic
Hot tamales
3 super blow pops

Fitness:
Walked ~1mile

Another learning day. 
I woke up dreading the idea of cooking fried eggs & bacon for breakfast despite knowing it would be better for me over all.  So, instead, I got up, made tortilla chips & cheese for breakfast washing it down with mountain dew.  This did not make me feel better.  Instead, it made me want chips & more soda.  Thus, I walked to 7-eleven for provisions. 

All day, my lungs felt raspy from last night's run.  Adding the sugar on top of this did not help.  My heart raced and breathing was shallow.  Then, this afternoon, I found myself with a strong desire to cut open my wrists and let the blood flow in hopes of calming down my spirit.  I did not feel suicidal depressed.  It was simply the need for release of the built up energy from the sugar consumption.  This may be the first time I've actually had this realization of nutrition affecting the desire to self mutilate. 

Outside of this knowledge, I also learned how much more I desire sugar when I'm exhausted.  Today, I felt a driving need for sugar as I could barely keep my eyes open sitting doing nothing right after waking this morning.  My body was tired from yesterday's run while my brain wanted to move.  However, when I did get out of the house, I felt light headed and ready to faint.  Not sure if the flu shot yesterday had an effect or if it's just the run exhaustion.  I guess we will see over time. 

Tomorrow, I start looking at diets to start trying for 30 days.  Once I start, I'm going to need extreme support to keep going strong.  Hopefully, I can find it through blogging my daily meals, weight, & physical experiences over the course of time.  We will wait & see.